Sunday, January 9, 2011

Breaking His Mama's Heart

Rowan's Family

Rowan adores the desk that is under the new loft bed we got for him when we moved back to the States. It's almost always very messy, strewn with things like pencils, markers, coloring books, stickers, prizes from school, tooth fairy dust in a baggie, and lots and lots of airplane and train tickets that he's collected from various travelers. Every time I try and talk him into tossing a few of the tickets he protests so strongly that I can't help but relent and let him keep them.

The newest addition to his desk is the family photo we sent with him on his first day of kindergarten. It came back home this week in his Friday folder, and when he saw it he immediately wanted to put it up in his room. But he said that it made him sad to look at it because he never wants to leave us. He's been talking about going away to college off and on this past week. I'm not sure what has prompted it. Maybe Toy Story 3, which the kids got for Christmas. Maybe saying goodbye to our families after the holidays were over. Maybe something else entirely. At any rate, it's been on his mind. Yesterday morning he came quietly downstairs with his alleegah in his hand and told me again that looking at the family picture makes him so sad because he loves me so much and never wants to leave. As he leaned into my shoulder his eyes filled with tears and I'm pretty sure my heart broke.


  1. That is so sweet! Sad that he is worried about leaving you this soon. Treasure these moments they help with the pre-teen years.

  2. I have never met you or Rowan in real life, but reading this sweet little post just about broke my heart, too. I still have a very vivid memory of when I realized that one day my parents would die. It broke my heart then and actually it still does. Hug that sweet boy of yours very tight.

  3. Aggghhh, and now my heart is broken, too. We'll work very hard for many years to perpare them to be able to leave us and be successful and productive when they do. . . yet it'll break our hearts every time. I love that he is so very sweet with you.